The summer of 2021 after Covid was a challenge in general. Even though the virus itself was gone, it would take about 3 months to fully recover, especially to regain full breathing capacity. 

For exercise, it was normal for me to lap swim at a YMCA and usually at 5 am. If you have never tried it, you should. It is a fantastic way to start a day. Plus it is a great way to sleep at night. Once your head hits the pillow you’re out. You’re tired in a good way if that makes sense. Pre-covid it was normal for me to swim 30 to 35 laps daily or every other day. Post-covid it was too much to ask. Deep breathing would remain difficult. 

There’s a park close to my home and that’s where I would jog – well more like walk – in order to exercise my breathing capacity. I feel we too easily find blame on something or someone. For example, sure there’s difficulties associated with Covid, but why wait for a doctor or medication? Do what you can to improve your your way of life. Maintaining your health is your personal responsibility. 

Emily had been such a benefit in just speaking to her during Covid that I would call her occasionally when I was on a walk in the park. So in essence I was slowly getting to know her on a personal level. And she was receptive to my calls. I learned about her past. Her present. Not too much of her future obviously. She was going through some pain undoubtedly due to her husband passing. If anything, I hope I was also bringing her a distraction and a modicum of therapy of some type. There isn’t a textbook process to grieve over loss. There is no right or wrong way. Plus she had family that was going through the same grief. I wasn’t sure if she had other people to speak with so I made sure and listen to what she was going through and not just about me, me, and me. 

Either way, I was enjoying our conversations. And I too was opening up to her and gabbing about my not so social life and the rigors of being a single man in Houston. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be. I shared part of that with her to provide her with comic relief. I had some crazy stories (as most singles do). I would go on dates and then share details about it . Hey who doesn’t like good gossip, right?

But through all that time on dates, the one common denominator Emily grew accustomed to was me simply saying “there wasn’t any spark.” Time and again I would go on a Friday or Saturday dinner date and either my date “wasn’t into me” or I “wasn’t into her”. No spark. 

I had dated a girl for five years previously. So I’m capable of being in a relationship. But we became more of a habit really instead of planning something meaningful. We had become buddies and slowly grew ever distant. I would tell her I was her Uber driver and was only there to buy her dinner. She resented that remark. But that’s how I felt. And that’s how it wound up being. Just someone to go do things with. 

It’s not that I like being alone, but isn’t it better to be with the right person? I’m not lonely, however I am lonely for the right person. Not sure that even makes sense. 

Slowly Emily was building a case history about me as well. Peeling off layers and telling people about me is usually not my forte. It was fun telling Emily my semi-private soap opera. Our lives were completely antithetical. She had been married half of her life and had several children. I have never married and no children. 

Telling myself, “stop being friendly with tenants” wasn’t working. At least not with this particular property.