Funerals notwithstanding, do not send flowers to anyone. Ever.  It’s too cliché.  It’s too cheesy. 

However, if you’re a man that finds yourself in an unenviable position then surely you should entertain it. Send flowers only when nothing else is working. Send flowers if you haven’t done anything egregiously bad yet remain in a gray area between you and her. 

Sending flowers is the equivalent to the Hail Mary in football in all levels. Do it in matters urgent. 

When options are depleted. 

For those who don’t quite understand the Hail Mary, it’s usually done late late LATE in the game with only seconds remaining and your team is still within one score of either tying or winning the ball game. The coach will yell out to his star quarterback, “Hey I think we should dial up a Hail Mary.” To which the quarterback will retort, “Well what do we have to lose, right?”

Coach: At this moment, nothing. Go to it!

When words are no longer working and you still need to get across some type of communication, then yes by all means, send flowers. It’s universal. It’s a man shrugging his shoulders to say, “I’ve got nothing left. I’m out of words. I am, after all, merely a man. So I’ll shut my mouth and have these flowers speak for me.”

Flowers sent is the end result of a man’s brain speaking to his heart. The heart is too busy being pensive. Being sullen. That’s when the brain needs to step in as if to say, “Here I am to save the day!”

Now just like in football, it’s not a guarantee it will work. But it will buy you some time and precious minutes to state your case with her. 

And for Pete’s sake, do NOT have them delivered. Go to a store. Pick out what you want. Get a witty card and also for sure include a box of candy. This little procedure actually can have a calming effect on a man. It’s a stress relief for sure. If she’s not home, drop them off. Take a pic. She’ll see them sooner or later. 

Note: don’t do this exercise for her. Do it for you. It will help maintain a semblance of peace in your soul knowing you came up with a good idea all on your own. Should it put a smile on her face, consider it an added bonus.